53 Ways To Annoy Vlad Plasmius!
by KodiakWolfe13
Summary: There was another list on BlackishPinkXDemonicAngel's profile... And Kodi decided to use it... Just like she did with Dan (He's still recovering if any of you wondered)... Vlad might have it worse though... But that's a matter of opinion, really... *They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha! starts playing*
1. Ch 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own Danny Phantom. Nor that cover art. Butch Hartman does.**

"So, how was your time with Dan, Kodi?" Kad asked. Kodiak made a 'meh' sound. Kadzait scrunched his face in confusion. "I thought that maniac would've given you a hard time." Kodiak shrugged. "He was easy! All I had to do was drill into his mind that he was a failure to life." Kadzait gave her a weird look. "That's harsh." Kodiak shook her head. "No it's not. It's totally mandatory. Besides, Clockwork told me I should go help Vlad, kinda like I did with Dan." Kadzait thought, and took a sip of his Coke. "How you going to do that?" Kodiak looked like he was crazy, which he was. "Easy, I'll stay with him." Kadzait gave her a hopeless look. "And how are you going to get around his mansion? It's huge." Kodiak proudly held up a blue piece of paper. "I stole his blueprints." Kadzait looked at her approvingly.

_At Vlad's Mansion…_

The door to Vlad's mansion burst open, scaring the crap out of Vlad, as Kodiak walked in with another duffel bag over her shoulder. "Hey V-man! It's me, Kodiak!" Vlad looked to the sky. "Dear Lord, what did I do?" Kodiak punched his arm playfully. "Nothing, but try to take over the world a dozen times! So Clockwork sent me over to work on your violent tendencies." Vlad looked at her with wide-eyes. "My what?" Kodiak patted his shoulder sympathetically. "It's alright Vlad. I'm just here to help you down the road to recovery." Vlad sighed. "Dan has told me all about the road to recovery." Kodiak smiled. "Then you'll know I'm professional!" Vlad shook his head. "No, I know that you really are insane." Kodiak gave him a thumbs-up.

_Time Skip…_

Vlad looked at his screen in his secret lab, watching Danny and his friends. He started to laugh evilly. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" Vlad screamed like a girl as Kodiak appeared behind him. The wolf-girl immediately gasped at the screen. "Vlad, you stalker! I came down here to question why you had cardboard cut outs in your closet, and then I find you're doing this!" Kodiak made a disapproving clicking noise. Vlad looked at her confused. "What cut outs?" Kodiak held up a picture. The picture was of cardboard cut outs in Vlad's room, and they were of Danny. Was Maddie in there too?

"Where did those come from?" Kodiak held up another picture. It was the back of one of the cut outs, full of websites for cardboard cut outs. "You'd be surprised how many websites there are." It had www. cardboard-cut-outs .com, www. cardboard-cut-outs-'R'-us .com, www. The-Website-For-Freaky-Stalkers-Who-Like-Cardboard-Cut-Outs-Of-Our-Arch-Enemies-And-Our-Arch-Enemies-Mother .com (Also known as TWFFSWLCCOOOAEAOAEM for short), www. The-Stalker's-Website-For-Creepy-Stalker's-Cardboard-Cut-Outs .com (TSWFCSCCO), and www. Secret-Society-For-Creeps-Who-Like-Cardboard-Cut-Outs-Of-Fourteen-Year-Old-Boys-And-The-Fourteen-Year-Old-Boys-Mother-Even-If-You're-A-Guy-Reading-This-Awfully-Long-Website-Name-And-Ordering-The-Fourteen-Year-Old-Boys-Cardboard-Cut-Outs-And-The-Fourteen-Year-Old-Boys-Mother-Cardboard-Cut-Outs .com(SSFCWLCCOOFYOBMEIYAGRTALWNAOTFYOBCCOATFYOBNCCO, exaggeration much?).

"They actually have those websites?" Vlad said astonished. "I know, right?" Kodiak said, slightly laughing, but then she went back to serious. "I'm confiscating your cut outs, and I will check your computer's history at the end of every day." Vlad looked at her in disbelief. "You can't be serious?! I do important stuff on my computer!" Kodiak looked at him disapprovingly. "You're stalking a fourteen year old boy and his friends, and you go onto SSFCWLCCOOFY-OBMEIYAGRTALWNAOTFYOBCCOATFYOBNCCO." Vlad continued to look at her in disbelief. "I didn't even know that was a website!"

Kodiak threw her hands in the air. "And now you're lying! It seems like it was just yesterday I walked into the door to help you, and now you're doing things behind me back!" Vlad continued to stare. "It _was _yesterday you busted my door open!" Kodiak scratched her head. "It was? Feels longer." Kodiak looked at him disapprovingly again. "I will check your history later tonight, no buts mister! And by the way, don't forget to get a cat!" Kodiak walked away with a 'hmph', and left Vlad staring after her in disbelief once more.

_Time Skip…_

Vlad walked out of his secret lair (Not secret anymore) and came to find Kodiak doing ancient rituals in his library. "What are you doing?" Kodiak smiled at him. "I'm doing a ritual to get all of the evil spirits out of your house." Now she was giving him a pointed glare. The doorbell rang, and Vlad walked to get it, rubbing his face.

He came back storming in a few minutes. "What is _this_!?" Kodiak looked in the box before going back to her ritual. "It's cosmetics from Estee Lauder to get rid of your blue complexion." Vlad looked to the sky. "Someone up there, take me away." Kodiak rolled her eyes. "Ungrateful, no good, jerk." Vlad rolled his eyes. The bell rang again, and he answered. Again, he stormed back in, holding a cat with a violet ribbon around its neck. "DID _YOU_ GET ME THIS?!" Kodiak looked at the little black kitty before taking her from Vlad. "No, but I wish I did. Isn't it your birthday, anyways? Oh look, she's got a name. And it _isn't _Maddie! It's Onyx! She's so pretty! Isn't she Vlad? I think it's kinda weird I like cats, and I'm half something that will maul a cat, but isn't she a pretty kitty Vlad?!"

Vlad glared and walked away. Kodiak looked at the kitten, and put on the ground. "You're allowed to maul him if you like." Kodiak stroked the kitten's head, earning a satisfied purr. Kodiak nudged the kitty after Vlad. Onyx didn't need anything more encouragement. You could hear "BAD KITTY, DOWN! BAD KITTY!" Across the U.S., followed by. "GO ONYX! KICK HIS UNGRATEFUL BUTT TO MEXICO!"

"WHY MEXICO! AHHHHH!"

"I DON'T KNOW! YES ONYX! RIGHT ON HIS BUTT, TOO!"

The door bell rung.

"CAN YOU GET THAT?! OW!"

"SURE VLAD!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING!? AH, BAD KITTY!"

"YOU'RE YELLING! WHY SHOULD'NT I?"

"JUST GET THE DOOR!"

"YOU ASKED! Hi! This is the Masters resident! I'm Mr. Masters' psychiatrist, and mother for the road to recovery! What would you like?"

"Wanna join boy scouts?"

"Oh, I would love to! But I'm a girl! I can always sign the Vladstier up though! Here's his credit card!"

"DON'T YOU DARE GIVE THAT INSOLENT BOY MY CREDIT CARD!"

"SHUT UP, VLAD!"

"Here you go. The first meeting is Saturday."

"Thank you! I'll be sure to bring V-man! Even if he goes kicking and screaming!"

"Ok…?"

"Bye!"

"Bye?"

"KODIAK, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"THAT'S VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE! I'D KILL YOU BEFORE YOU EVEN TOUCHED ME! I MEAN YOU'RE ALREADY HALF WAY THERE!"

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!? There, there little kitty, OW!"

"VLAD, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS! YOU'RE-"

"I KNOW!"

"THEN STOP ASKING!"

"I WILL!"

"GOOD!"

"WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S FUN!"

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"YES IT IS!"

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"STOP CRUSHING DREAMS VLAD!"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"YOU HEARD ME! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"MAKE ME!"

"vvv-lll-aaAA-DDD!"

"I'M GOING! I'M GOING!"

"GOOD! AND I'M CALLING AUNTIE RHEA TO DISCUSS YOUR ISSUES!"

_Time Skip…_

Vlad was walking around his mansion, when Kodiak came around the corner in a bed sheet with black spots on it, and a giant black smiley face. "oooOOOooo! I'm a ghost!" Vlad shook his head. "Kodiak, that's insulting." Kodiak laughed. "If you think THAT's insulting, wait for this!" Kodiak put a hand to her non-visible lips, and started beet-boxing.

"Oh, Vlad's a wannabe, a vampire wannabe. Look at his tiny fangs! There so puny! Why on earth does he have them? Cause he's a wannabe, a vampire wannabe. Of course I'm rubbing it in his face! And the fact the fact that he knows Danny is the future ruler! Not him, his enemy and his wanted son/apprentice! Isn't that creepy? It can only be because he's a wannabe, a vampire wannabe. And shall we go back to his many mistakes?"

"Please shut up!"

"There was the scheme with the Fright Night! What a joke was that! And then he tried to get the Crown of Fire without waking the Ghost King! Idiot."

"I guess that was a bad idea…"

"No frikkin kidding. Wanna know why he failed? Cause he's a wannabe, a vampire wannabe! No one fails so bad, so horribly, so miserably unless they're a vampire wannabe!"

Kodiak ended her little "song" on her knees, hands up in the air, still in the ghost costume. "Are you done now?" Kodiak shook her head. The sheet's smiley face was mocking him. Vlad walked away with a sigh, and had to listen as Kodiak walked behind him singing Vampire Wannabe.

_Time Skip…_

Vlad was sitting at his work desk in City Hall when his cell-phone went off. Vlad spit out his coffee when he heard it.

_Yo Danny Fenton was just fourteen when his parents built a very strange machine_

_It was designed to view a world unseen_

_(He's gonna catch them all cause he's Danny Phantom)_

Vlad continued to stare at his phone in shock.

_When it didn't quite work_

_His folks, they just quit_

_Then Danny took a look inside of it_

_There was a great big flash!_

_Everything just changed!_

_His molecules got all rearranged_

_(Phantom, Phantom)_

_When he first woke up, he realized, he had snow white hair_

_And glowing green eyes_

_He could walk through walls_

_Disappear and fly_

_He was much more unique than the other guys_

_And it was then Danny knew what he had to do_

_He had to stop all the ghosts that were coming through_

_He's here to fight for me and you!_

_(He's gonna catch them all cause he's Danny Phantom_

_He's gonna catch them all cause he's Danny Phantom_

_Gonna catch them all cause he's…)_

_He's a Phantom_

_Danny Phan- Danny Phan- Danny Phan_

_Danny Phantom_

Vlad's head fell to his desk, and he moaned in despair. The voice mail came on. "_Hello." _Vlad immediately noticed that his recording was not in his voice. It was Kodiak's. "_This is the idiot ghost who believes he will rule the world. He's a little delusional right now, while coming up with his next evil scheme. Leave a message after the beep!_"

BEEP!

"_Hi Vladstier!_"

"Seriously, someone please end my life!"

"_I noticed your listening to my voice mail._"

"How would she know?"

"_To answer your question, I'm watching you from a hidden camera. I called you and you were too stunned by my pure genius to answer. Hope you liked my voice mail, V-man! Call me back whenever you want, or maybe not at all! Doesn't matter, cause I'm stalking you as I speak. Watching your mouth open and close like a fish out of water. Don't look for the camera, I told you it was hidden. GULLIABLE is spelled on your roof! Ha! You actually looked!"_

Kodiak's laughter rang through the phone before it ended in the middle of her laughter, and the dial tone sounded. Vlad just banged his head on the desk.

_Later…_

Vlad continued to work on his computer, doing many things. He had changed his voice message back to what it was before, but he could not figure out to change his ring tone back. He'd have to make the little brat change it back when he got home which had been recently invaded by a certain wolf-girl.

His ring tone went off again, and Vlad sighed. Why did she have to change it? He looked at the number, and ignored it. It was Kodiak calling. His voice message came on, and it was not what it was supposed to be.

"_Hello, you've reached Vlad Plasmius! He is not here right now, because he is currently occupied curling his ghostly hair and searching for his lost blankie! Leave a message after the beep!"_

Vlad started crying.

_"Oh stop whining you baby. AND STOP IGNORING MY CALLS! Your mansion just burned down!"_

"WHAT!?"

Kodiak laughed through the phone. "_Just kidding! You're so easy! Anyways, wanted to tell you I changed your voice message again. And I did a few things so you wouldn't be able to change it. I really like this one, since you deleted my first one. Oh the next thing I wanted to tell you was all the stupid things people do on Yahoo Answers! I found 20 dumbest questions asked! You should listen to this. 1. How do you get the smell of butt…? 2. Help! I cannot take off my mother's bra and she's gonna be home in five minutes! The mirror doesn't help much!? 3. HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? 4. Is it illegal to name my dog after a movie? 5. How do I ask a question on Yahoo Answers? Number six is not a good one so I'm going to skip it… 7. Do emos really have to cut their rists? 8. My bro has not got his first period yet? A girl asked that one! 9. Is there any possibly way of making 2+2=5? Ten isn't good either… 11. Why doesn't the earth fall down? 12. If someone says it's hot outside, is it a fact or opinion? 13. Possessed by evil? 14. How do you get spaghetti stains out of underwear? 14. Did I get bit by a spider? 15. This question is the for the guys? How do I show a girl I like them? 15. What is your least favorite storyline right now of Days of Our Lives? 16. Is not a good question either. 17. Why are there school? 18. Could I be a high fashion model? I'm not going to go on but if you wanna find it, have fun!"_

Vlad was once again banging his head on the desk.

_Time Skip…_

Vlad sat in his library, reading a very good classic.

"Hey Vlad!"

He screamed, and fell out of his chair. Kodiak made another disapproving clicking noise. "Jeez Vlad, can you scream any girlier?" Vlad glared daggers at the girl. She was unfazed. "So anyway, I wanted to ask you why you didn't have a theme song? Like Danny? Your cute, stronger-than-you, has-his-own-theme-song-unlike-you, arch-nemesis?" Vlad's eye twitched as he continued to glare. "I don't know, why don't you ask Butch Hartman?" Kodiak continued to smile at him. "I did, but he said I should ask you. He and I are great business associates."

Vlad let out a very long sigh. "Why Butch? Couldn't I just be an idea that remained in the back of your mind?" Kodiak gave an evil smile. "Nope, so anyways. Since you don't have a theme song, I made up a few for you to choose." She handed him a few sheets of paper.

Vlad took the, wondering how bad they could be. Very bad, actually. "This is the Dawning of the Age of Plasmius? Twinkle, Twinkle Little Vlad? Vlad Will Survive? Vampire Wannabe?Oh Lord, not that song again."

Kodiak jumped forward, and threw on her ghost costume. "Oh, Vlad's a wannabe, a vampire wannabe! Look at his tiny fangs! They're so puny!..."

_Time Skip…_

Vlad rubbed his hands together, thinking of the perfect scheme. He got up and switched to his ghost mode. Out of nowhere, Kodiak ran up. "Are you gonna go ghost? Oh say it! Go ghost!" Vlad glared at her. "I will not say Daniel's battle cry." Kodiak gave him a Bat-glare. Vlad shrunk away. "SAY IT YOU MORON! AND SAY IT NOW!" Vlad rocked back and forth on the ground. "Going ghost…" Kodiak clapped with a giant grin. "See, was that so hard to say?" Vlad shook his head no, not daring to say yes. Kodiak continued to grin. "Hey you need a battle cry! It should be I'm a Failure! Come on, say it!" Vlad shook his head. "SAY IT NOW!" Vlad started crying. "I'm a failure." Kodiak squealed like a fan-girl. "Hey, duplicate so we can play hide and seek!"

"No." Kodiak Bat-glared him."YOU WILL DO AS I SAY, YOU INSOLENT BEING!" Hell just froze over, and Satan wet his pants. I'm pretty sure Vlad did too.

The blue-skinned ghost nodded, afraid for his life, and duplicated so there were four Vlad's.

Kodiak smiled innocently. "You're it! Count to sixty!" She ran off, laughing as she did. Vlad leaned against the wall and started counting. The other Vlad's flew off to hide. They played one hundred-sixty five games of hide and seek, and not once was Vlad able to find by the end, they found her sleeping in her bubble bath. Then, Kodiak beat the crap out of Vlad for walking in on her.

After hide-and-seek, they played two hundred-ninety eight games of Marco Polo. Again, Kodiak kicked Vlad's can to Mexico. Turns out, she hid in Vlad's closet, on the top shelf, passed out again. Then, Kodiak beat the crap out of Vlad again because he walked in on her sleeping. She's a weird chick and we all know it, so don't seem so surprised.

_Time Skip…_

Vlad worked in his office, very engrossed in his work. He was just about to sign another very important contract when Kodiak's hand was slapped over his face. Vlad instantly screamed and accidently made a very long pen line across his paper. He glared up at the girl who was now sitting on his shoulders. "I'm… Not… Touching you. I'm… Not… Touching you." Vlad continued to glare.

"If you weren't so scary, and friends with the Justice League, the League's little partners, Danny, Butch Hartman, and the Teen Titans, I'd have Skulker hunt you down." Kodiak gained an evil look but almost immediately it was gone. "Hey! Can you stand up for me!" Vlad sighed, but did as he was told.

Kodiak stood in front of him, and poked his stomach… _hard_. Ok, I lied, she punched the dude. Vlad bent over with a very pained look. "What… is the meaning… of this?" Kodiak smiled at the villain. "I wanted to see if you would go ghost. Didn't work. So, either you can do it willingly, or I can bring in my buddy Danny, or Batman, or Joker, or some other freak I know."

Vlad did as she told willingly, not wanting to get on any heroes or villain's bad side. Immediately, ghost alarms started going off really loudly, making Vlad scratch at his ears. Kodiak got out a microphone from nowhere. "Help, help. There's a ghost in Vlad Master's mansion. It's the Wisconsin Ghost. Oh no, Vlad Master's has disappeared. Whatever shall I do?" Kodiak said in a monotone-ish way. The wall to Vlad's castle was busted open and the idiots from Million Dollar Ghost spotted Vlad, who immediately screamed and started flying away, followed closely behind by the ghost hunters.

Kodiak sat down in Vlad's chair, and grabbed his laptop. She hacked into it, hacked into a satellite and started watching, getting popcorn from nowhere. She started laughing especially hard when Vlad ran into a wall.

_Time Skip…_

A week. They followed Vlad for a week, non-stop. Only when Kodiak called off the bounty did they leave. Vlad immediately passed out in his bed. Kodiak appeared next to him, scissors in her hand with an evil smile gleaming. She reached out to give him a small trim. As she was about to cut off some hair, she sneezed. The open scissors went from the end of his ponytail to the very beginning, and closed.

Kodiak brought the ponytail close to her face, and then looked at the sleeping Vlad. She started slinking away, still holding Vlad's white hair and the scissors in her hands.

_Later…_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kodiak stopped her scrapbooking, and looked up. "He's awake." Vlad stormed into the library where Kodiak was working. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PONYTAIL!?"Kodiak made a cool smile. "Relax, it's right here." She held it up. Vlad's eye twitched, mouth gaping. She smiled. "Hey, wanna help me make a scrapbook?" Vlad closed his mouth, knowing he could do nothing for his loss. "Why are you making a scrapbook?"

Kodiak gave one of her cheeky smiles, and Vlad instantly knew to expect the worse. "I'm depicting all your greatest failures." Vlad started crying. Kodiak got up and walked over to him and patted his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, I know. It hurts know, and it'll hurt more later. So anyways, I have a friend coming over later. She's going to help you."

Vlad looked at her sniffling. "What with?" Kodiak didn't have time to answer, as the door burst open and Edna Mode stood in her glory. The midget woman walked forward. "Hello Kodiak. It's nice to see you again. Is this the Vlad Masters/Plasmius you have told me about?" Kodiak nodded. "Yes Edna. Vlad, change into your ghost form." Vlad was about to protest, but Kodiak smacked him. "Don't you dare talk back to me, mister!" Vlad changed into his ghost mode.

As he changed, Edna made a disapproving noise. "You are a pathetic man, Mr. Plasmius." Kodiak brightened. "That's what you told Dan! Oh and Vlad, I washed your ghost mode's outfit." Edna nodded, and looked at Vlad's ghost mode.

It was the same as usual, except it was pink. Everything that was white, was a neon pink. Vlad's utter shock was picture worthy, and was already in Kodiak's scrapbook. It looked like Valentine's Day puked on him.

Edna looked him up and down with a hmmm. Kodiak was standing next to her with a huge smile. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!" Kodiak remained smiling. "I put your suit in the washer with the brightest red sock I could with the cheapest dye job ever. The sock was _really_ bright too." Edna remained looking. "Mr. Plasmius, NO CAPES!" She dragged a screaming and kicking Vlad away. Kodiak waved after them.

As Kodiak waited for Edna to be done, she doodled on Vlad's Ray Nitschke football. Eventually, Edna came in. "It is done." Kodiak got up, and followed after Edna. Vlad stood on a one of those platforms and was starring at himself in the mirror in shock.

He was wearing a white dress shirt, black vest and tie, black belt, white pants, black boots, and black gloves. His hair was put back and now tamed. Honestly, he looked like a really old school boy. It was so sad.

"What do you think?"

Vlad made a choking sound. Kodiak smirked. "I think it's _great_! And so does Vlad! But I think he needs a really keen emblem. Like this." Kodiak showed Edna a doodle of Vlad's football, earning a startled gasp from the millionaire. Edna nodded, and grabbed a piece of black cloth. She cut out a design, did a little sticking, and then she attached it to Vlad's chest. It was a VP symbol. Vlad was about to cry, then and there.

Edna soon left, and Vlad walked to the basement. He had a bunch of spare costumes, in case they should be needed. He grabbed his tunic, pants, gloves, boots, and belt. He went to reach for a cape and when he pulled it out, it was completely pink with every Disney princess thought of. He looked at the others. Hello Kitty? Mickey Mouse Head? The Nick Logo? Danny's FACE? CHEESE?! _What the butter biscuits is going on?_

A parrot landed on Vlad's shoulder, scaring the peanut brittle out of him. The parrot looked at him seriously. "Who are you?" The parrot glared. "No time for that. I am here under Kodiak's orders to lecture you on proper villain lingo. That means no COOKIE EXPLETIVES!" Vlad shrunk back in fear.

_Time Skip…_

Kodiak walked up to Vlad. "Yes Kodiak?" Kodiak smiled. "Take me to Disney World so I can meet Mickey Mouse!" Vlad looked at her seriously. "No." Kodiak did the Bat-glare, making Vlad pee his pants. "You better piggy-back me to Disney World or I'll stuff you in a thermos and bury it one hundred feet in the ground!" Vlad shrunk back, and wordlessly switched into his ghost mode. Kodiak hopped onto his back happily.

"You're a seriously crazed up fruit loop Vlad."

"So I've heard…"

_Time Skip…_

Kodiak wore a hat, and had popcorn in her hand. She sat on the ground waiting for Potter Puppet Pals to come on. "Hey, Vlad! I'm going to the bathroom! Be right back!" Kodiak zoomed away. Vlad rubbed his face. "I swear, she must be bipolar, or it's 'the time of the month.'"

Kodiak ran away, hopped on a plane, and went to Vlad's house in less than five minutes. Designers of all sorts behind her. "Ok guys, Sam and Tucker won't be able to hold him off for long so here's the design and GET TO WORK, YOU WORTHLESS MAGGOTS!" The designers saluted and ran away in fright. Kodiak smirked and laughed evilly.

**Disney World**

"Vlad's a wannabe, a vampire wannabe!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!"

**Vlad's Mansion**

"Ok Box Ghost, you're allowed to have the Room 313 in the west wing of the building while Lunch Lady is pregnant with Box Lunch. That'll be 1000 bucks." Box Ghost shrugged and forked over the money. Kodiak smiled at him and held up a key. "Here's the only spare key to your room! I have the other! Just don't leave your key lying around, or lose your key, got it?" Box Ghost smiled, nodded, and flew off to grab his junk.

Klemper flew behind Kodiak. "Will you be my friend?" Kodiak turned to him. "No, but I can rent you a room." Klemper thought for a moment. "Ok!" Kodiak smirked. "That'll be 2000 bucks." Klemper scratched his head. "But the Box Ghost only paid a 1000." Kodiak continued smirking. "Yeah, but Onyx, a little kitty, loves that room and sleeps there all the time! She'll be your friend, just give her some space." Klemper nodded and forked over the money.

Kodiak remained smiling. "Great! Here's your key to Room -0 in the east wing! Bye!" Klemper waved before going to get his stuff. Kodiak waved and sniffed her money. Yeah, pretty sure it's PMS.

**Disney World**

"Vlad will survive!"

"WILL YOU STOP SINGING?!"

"Yo, Danny Fenton, he was fourteen when his parents built a very strange machine!"

"My ears are bleeding!"

**Vlad's Mansion**

Vlad got out of his limo, finally realizing Kodiak had ditched him. When he saw his house, all he could do was gape.

_Everything _was pink, girly, and not his Packer's color scheme. And Jack's _face _was on _everything_. The rugs, the windows, the flags, the walls, the floor, the roof, the ceiling, _everything_.

"Hi Vlad!"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

Kodiak smirked. "Redecorated a bit, and I think I'd like to tell you something." How could this get any worse? "I bought the Packer's!" Vlad fainted, but was reawakened when Kodiak kicked him the nuts. "LISTEN TO ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! Anyways, I wore the city down to make them sell. It was fun! I kept ranting, and sending them emails at the same time, and I texted them! Finally, they sold them to me as long as I never contact them again."

Vlad glared. "Yes, you are _extremely_ annoying, but I don't think they'd sell them to you." Kodiak held up the document of confirmation. His eye twitched.

Kodiak grabbed his wrist. "Come on, let's go check out the rest of your castle!" You could hear a certain billionaire's sobbing all the way to China.

_Time Skip…_

Vlad walked down his pretty pink hallway, looking like a sad, miserable wreck. Then, his day got worse. "Where ya going? Where ya going? Where ya going? Where ya going? Where ya going? Where ya going? Where ya going? Where ya going?" Vlad turned to the girl sharply. "Stop asking that question! Ask something different!"

Kodiak smiled at him brightly. "Why do you always shoot pink beams?" Vlad face palmed. "How bout something else." "Ok, so in TUE, when you told Danny some things are better left unsaid and we see that Dan kills Human Danny, is that considered a murder or a suicide?"

Ah yes Kodiak, use the power of bluntness.

"Are you serious? Are you seriously asking me that? Why would you even think of something like that?" Kodiak shrugged. "You tell me."

"YOU'RE INSANE!"

"YES, YES I AM!"

Vlad ripped out his hair.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh smooth one, oh great one. That was not a smart move, Vlad, not a smart move."

Vlad stormed away, to his office. Too bad Kodiak moved it during the makeover. It's in an outhouse out back now.

_Time Skip…._

Vlad worked in his office. In the attic. That's right, Kodiak would not let him move back into his old office. He was having a rough day. Kodiak would not shut up!

"Greetings loved one! Let's take a journey!"

"Shut up!"

"I KNOW A PLACE WHERE THE GRASS IS REALLY GREENER! WARM, WET, AND WILD! THERE MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE WATER!"

"KODIAK, PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU CAN'T SING!"

"SIPPIN GIN 'AN' JUICE! LAYING UNDERNEATH THE PALM TREES! THE BOYS, BREAK THEIR NECKS, TRY'NA CREEP A LITTLE SNEAK PEAK AT US!"

"WHY ME?! WHAT DID I DO?!"

"YOU COULD TRAVEL THE WORLD, BUT NOTHIN COMES CLOSE TO THE GOLDEN COAST! ONCE YOU PARTY WITH US, YOU'LL BE FALLING IN LOVE! OH, OH, OH, OOOOHHH!"

"IT'S BEEN A WEEK, HOW CAN SHE DRIVE ME INSANE THAT FAST?!"

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE! DAISY DUKES, BIKINIS ON TOP! SUNKISSED SKIN, SO HOT WE'LL MELT YOUR POPSICLE! OH OHOHOH OHHHHH!"

"MY EARS! OH MY GOSH, THEY'RE ACTUALLY BLEEDING!"

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE'RE UNDEINABLE! FINE, FRESH, FIERCE! WE GOT IT ON LOCK! WEST COAST REPRESENT, NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP! OH OHOHOH OHHHHH!"

"DEAR LORD, CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

"SEX ON THE BEACH! WE DON'T MIND SAND IN OUR SILOUTTES! WE FRE-E-EAK IN MY JEEP, SNOOP DOGGY DOGG ON THE STERO!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?! MY EARS ARE _BLEEDING, _FOR THE LOVE OF FUDGE!"

"YOU COULD TRAVEL THE WORLD, BUT NOTHIN COMES CLOSE TO THE GOLDEN COAST! ONCE YOU PARTY WITH US, YOU'LL BE FALLING IN LOVE! OH, OH, OH, OOOOHHH!"

"KODIAK!"

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE! DAISY DUKES, BIKINIS ON TOP! SUNKISSED SKIN, SO HOT WE'LL MELT YOUR POPSICLE! OH OHOHOH OHHHHH!"

"KODIAK, WOULD YOU MIND SHUTTING UP!"

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE'RE UNDEINABLE! FINE, FRESH, FIERCE! WE GOT IT ON LOCK! WEST COAST REPRESENT, NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP! OH OHOHOH OHHHHH!"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT CAILFORNIA GIRLS!"

"TONED, TAN, FIT AND READY! TURN IT UP CAUSE IT'S GETTING HEAVY! WILD, WILD, WEST COAST, THESE ARE THE GIRLS I LOVE THE MOST! I MEAN THE ONES, I MEAN LIKE SHE'S THE ONE! KISS HER, TOUCH HER, SQUEEZE HER BUNS!"

"DID YOU JUST _SAY_ THAT?!"

"THE GIRL'S A FREAK! SHE'S GOT A JEEP! AND LIVES ON THE BEACH! I'M OKAY! I WON'T PLAY! I LOVE THE BAY! JUST LIKE I LOVE L.A.! VENICE BEACH, AND PALM SPRINGS! SUMMERTIME IS EVERYTHING!"

"HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN THERE! OH MY GOSH, THEY'RE STILL BLEEDING!"

"HOMEBOYS, HANGIN OUT! ALL THAT ***, HANGIN OUT! BIKINIS, TANKINIS, MARTINIS, NO WEENINES! JUST A KING AND A QUEEN-IE! KATY, MY LADY, YOU'RE LOOKIN HERE BABY! I'M ALL UP ON YA! CAUSE YOU REPSRESENTING CALIFORNIA!"

"IS SHE SINGING THAT? IS SHE SERIOUSLY SINGING THAT? WHILE I'M BLEEDING?!"

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE! DAISY DUKES, BIKINIS ON TOP! SUNKISSED SKIN, SO HOT WE'LL MELT YOUR POPSICLE! OH OHOHOH OHHHHH!"

"MAKE IT STOP! THE BLEEDING _AND_ THE SINGING FROM THE UNDERWORLD!"

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE'RE UNDEINABLE! FINE, FRESH, FIERCE! WE GOT IT ON LOCK! WEST COAST REPRESENT, NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP! OH OHOHOH OHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"CALIFORNIA! CALIFORNIA GIRLS! CALIFORNIA! CALFIFORNIA GIRLS! YEAH!"

"SHE'S DONE! THANK THE HEAVENS!"

"What should I sing next?"

"NO!"

"HI BARBIE! HI KEN! WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?! SURE! I'M A BARBIE GIRL IN A BARBIE WORLD! IT'S SO FANTASTIC, I'M MADE OF PLASTIC- or something like that!"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

She continued to sing all the songs Vlad hates. Making his ears bleed more than they already were.

_Time Skip…_

Vlad walked the halls once again, really bad dark circles under his eyes. He saw Kodiak running around in her stupid ghost costume with one of his capes around her neck. "I am Danny Phantom, the heroic Danny Phantom! Unlike my other lazy self!" His eye started twitching. Kodiak saw him. "Going ghost!" She put her hands in front of her, ran in a circle, before running away. He watched as she went to one of security cameras and did the same thing before running again.

"THAT'S IT!"

Vlad changed into his ghost mode and charged. Lightning fast, Kodiak had a hold on Vlad's cape and dragged him out the door, and to the nearest neighbor a mile away. "Trick or treat!"

_Time Skip…_

"HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME IT WASN'T HALLOWEEN?!" Kodiak shouted at the very scared and very afraid Vlad. "I thought you knew!" Kodiak gave the Bat-glare, not as well done as Batman but that's to be expected.

Kodiak whipped out a Fenton Thermos, and sucked Vlad in before he could think. She started beating it against a hard, concrete wall. Wait a minute, where did that come from?! Anyways, Kodiak continued beating it. "LET DANNY GO! LET DANNY GO! LET DANNY GO!" Vlad was too busy puking to speak at the moment.

_Time Skip…_

After Kodiak let him go, Vlad trudged to his office. He opened the door and a bunch of papers fell on him. Kodiak appeared out of nowhere. "You have a lot of mail." Vlad looked at all the envelopes. "What could they possibly be?!" Kodiak picked up one. "Oh! They're all invitations to the Box Ghost and Lunch Lady's wedding! How sweet!"

Vlad, poor Vlad, couldn't take the mental trauma of all the things that had happened in the course of a week, and finally was sent to the Asylum.

Kodiak waved from the doorstep. "Bye Vlad!" The white van drove away. Kodiak turned to the audience. "Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this installment, all of this happened, and Vlad really is going to the funny farm! I'm dead serious. And if you're wondering how I can do the Bat-glare, well let's just say I wore Batman down and finally glared at me, and I just copied that so BYE! Don't look for anything else! Thank you DarkShade5221 for having these lists on your profile! Thank you all!" Kodiak bows. "Good night everybody!"

It's ten in the morning.

"WHO CARES YOU-"

Alright, this story is over! By that, I mean Kodiak went on a cussing spree, good night everybody!

"YOU SAID IT WAS TEN IN THE MORNING, YOU-"

Just- Good bye!

**Me: Just so you guys know, Vampire Wannabe wasn't made to be good. I'm aware of how horrible it is. But it's so laughable I couldn't change it.** **It's one of those things SOMEONE SHOULD MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO FOR! THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS!**

**Kadzait: Nobody cares.**

**Me: Did anybody ask you?!**

**Kadzait: No...**

**Me: I DIDN'T THINK SO. Thanks for reading guys! I hope you enjoyed it! Hope you fell off your chair, holding your sides, tears falling out of your eyes! Who doesn't enjoy laughing so hard they hyperventilate?**

**Kadzait: You'd be surprised. **

**Me: STOP RUINING EVERYTHING! **


	2. Reviews

**Wow. No one decided to really review, fav, or follow. Don't I feel special? Shoulda seen that comin...** **52 people viewed this in one day too. Guess it wasn't worth reviews. *shrugs* I'll live. SO ANYWAYS!**

**Thank you ****_Mals42 _for favoriting this story! You're awesome! I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Reviews:**

**Invader Johnny: I totally agree! He is an insane nut job! Hence the reason he's going to the funny farm! Hahahaha! Thanks for checking out my stuff, dude! You are awesome!**

**Cookieplzandthnx: Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! IM SO HAPPY I MANAGED TO MAKE YOU FALL OUT OF YOUR CHAIR! I mean... *cough, cough* I hope you didn't get hurt... I'm glad you feel Vlad deserves this! That's the whole point of writing this! And that would be awesome if this was canon!**

**I hope everyone enjoyed this! If you didn't, sorry. If you did, I LOVE YOU!**

**-KW13**


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